Learning To Live Again
by TBorah89
Summary: When Henry Jr's wife dies he falls into a pit of despair the question the becomes can he pull himself out before it is too late?


A/N: This is a one shot about the things that Henry went through after his wife died. I don't own the song that I used in here.

* * *

Learning To Live Again

Numb all he felt inside was numb there was no heartache, no sorrow, no anger. There was just a huge sucking void of nothingness. That was worse than actually having feelings at least then he hadn't been walking around like a zombie he had known he was still alive. Because he honestly would have preferred feeling some sadness and crying to this. Although there was a very good chance he had no more tears left after the funeral he hadn't shed one tear. Nor had he spoken unless it was unavoidable. No he had chosen instead to box himself off from the rest of the world it was better this way.

He couldn't remember exactly when or why he had taken the first drink all he knew was it made him feel a little bit of something. And it allowed him to sleep without the constant nightmares plaguing him. At first it had just been so he could go to sleep at night and it had spiraled out from there.

The first night he had drank himself to sleep he woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and he had been sick most of the morning. Now he didn't even get that he was used to it. He wished he wasn't because he really wanted to feel something any emotion would have been fine as long as he was feeling.

Another thing that damn near killed him was the fact that no one would just be straight with him. They wouldn't talk to him like he was a real person they all talked down to him like they were afraid that he would break if they told him the truth. The damn question he wanted answered wasn't that big of a deal. He just wanted to know if what happened had been his fault. He couldn't live with the not knowing it was killing him slowly.

Well he couldn't live with much of anything anymore that was part of the reason why he drank. Bullshit that was an excuse and he knew that but he had fallen into a pattern and he found it hard to break it. It was one of the only constants he had in his life. He had lied to himself when he said he couldn't feel anything at all he had two feelings that he could distinguish low and lower those were what his moods flocculated between. So he had days when he felt not so shitty and days when he wanted to lock himself in his bedroom and not come out.

Today however was one of his good days he was sitting on the couch half watching a baseball game. He had his flask hidden in his pocket when he thought his no one was looking he would pour the contents into his soda or he would drink straight from it. He thought that it was understood that he wanted to be left alone to his thoughts. So he looked up in annoyance when he saw someone standing in front of the TV.

"What you want?" He asked gruffly without making eye contact with the person in front of him. He was scared of what he would see in her eyes.

"Henry mom wants to know if you want something to eat." His little sister Patty said to him.

"Charlie tell mom I said that I'm not hungry right now." Henry replied making his tone slightly softer than it had been before.

Patty knelt down in front of her brother and forced him to look in her eyes. She had to keep herself from gasping in shock at the sight of his appearance. He had a scruffy beard, his cheeks appeared sunken and hollow, and he had lost at least fifteen pounds from not eating. "Hank you really need to eat something." She implored him.

"Later." Henry huffed out simply he just wanted her to leave him alone.

"Bubba please I don't want you to get sick." Patty begged him close to tears she couldn't stand seeing him in that much pain and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

"Charlie I said I'm not fucking hungry right now just let it go. I'll eat when I get damn good and ready." Henry flared at her normally he would have felt bad because he knew how tender her feelings were but he just couldn't bring himself to care right now.

"Ok I'm sorry I pushed you I'll tell mom what you said. But at least let me get you something else to drink." Patty said taking his cup off the end table. She was holding back tears he never talked to her like that.

"Thank you Charlie." Henry said only so she would go away and leave him alone. And then he could get back to feeling sorry for himself.

He was annoyed even more when his mother came back in the room holding his cup. "Henry you're sure that you don't want anything to eat?" Paige asked her son sweetly there was no doubt in her mind that he had been drinking.

"Yes I'm sure mom." Henry replied heaving a sigh.

"Hank sweetie do you want to talk about it?" Paige asked hoping he would open up to her.

"There is nothing to talk about mom I just want to watch the game in peace." Henry said she was testing his limits.

"Then how about we talk about your drinking Henry Victor?" Paige asked him with an arched eyebrow.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about mom. Now please go away so I can watch the game." He damn near begged her.

"Fine but don't you be guilty of talking to your sister like that ever again. She loves you and she is worried about you just like the rest of us are. Bubba I only hope you realize that one day soon and you open up to me." Paige said kissing him on the head before she left the room.

In the kitchen he could hear Patty talking to their mother the tears were apparent in her voice "Mom is Hank going to be this sad forever?" she asked.

"No baby he is just going through a really tough time right now. So you can't take everything he says to heart." Paige assured her youngest child.

* * *

Things hadn't gotten any better from their one afternoon he had come home from baseball practice to find his mother and his in-laws sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hank come here and sit down for a minute Frank and Lyn want to talk to you." Paige told her son sweetly. She was hoping that maybe they would be able to get through to him that Oriana's death hadn't been her fault.

"How are you doing Hank?" Frank asked him.

"I'm doing fine I guess." Henry replied keeping his answer short and simple.

Lyn turned to him and put her hand on top of his "Hank Frank and I just wanted you to know that we don't blame you for what happened it wasn't your fault."

"You should because I blame myself. I had enough power to heal B but I couldn't heal her and she was my wife." Henry said that was the way he saw things.

"Oh no Hank you're not to blame I don't want you to think that. Oriana loved you and she knows that you tried the best that you could." Frank assured him.

He had to endure two torture filled hours like that being forced to talk about his feelings when all he wanted to do was lock them away and forget about everything. What he needed after that was a drink and he needed it badly. So he stood up from the table and announced "Mom I'm going out I'll be back later."

"Henry where are you going?" Paige asked concerned he had gotten into the habit of going out and then coming home drunk.

"I'm just going out I'll be back later." Henry replied as he took the keys out of his pocket and stalked out to his truck.

As had become his custom he ended up at some hole in the wall bar named the Blue Parrot. He went there so often that he was on a first name basis with the bartender. Of course he had wrangled at fake Id from somewhere. He took his usual seat on a stool at the bar and waited for the bartender to come over to him.

"Hey Hank what's your poison today?" Mike the bartender asked him knowing damn good and well what his answer would be.

"Mike give me whiskey and just keep them comin' 'til I'm stumblin'" Henry replied that was his usual request. Mike had yet to turn him down once and he didn't make this his first time. By his sixth shot Mike had taken his keys from him. By the time he had lost track of how many shots he had, had he turned to see Chris there by his side.

"Come on Hank it's time to go now." Chris said laying a hand on his shoulder.

"But Chris I don't want to go home I'm right in the middle of having a drink." Henry protested his words slurred. By now he had switched to drinking straight whiskey on the rocks.

Chris pushed his drink out from in front of him "No Hank you've had enough it's time to go now." he said a little more forcefully this time and he pulled Henry up from his stool. "Can I have his keys Mike?" he asked and Mike handed them to him. Wyatt had dropped him off at the bar so he could drive Henry's truck home.

Chris somehow got him to the truck. When he got him home he had to walk him up to his bedroom. Henry couldn't even meet his parents' eyes but he heard his dad say to his mother. "Paige I think he might have a problem we need to get him some help."

"I know he has a problem Henry but we can't get him help not until he's ready it won't do any good he will only push us further away." Paige replied sadly.

Chris had to put him to bed and change his clothes for him. He kissed him tenderly on the head when he tucked him in. "I hope tomorrow is better for you Bubba I love you and I'm here when you want to talk." He whispered softly before leaving him to sleep it off.

* * *

While that had been bad it got a whole lot worse than that. One night he had scared the living hell out of his little sisters. Paige and Henry had gone out for the night so he didn't have to worry about going to the bar to do his drinking. Well without anyone to regulate how much he drank he went a little overboard and before he knew it he was passed out.

Patty had gone into the living room to check on him just to make sure he was doing ok. It was a good thing that she did because he was no where near close to being ok he had stopped breathing. "Carly get in here there is something wrong with Hank." She called unable to conceal the fear in her voice.

Carly came into the room and she couldn't stop the flow of tears "Charlie he's not breathing I don't know what to do." She said going to pieces she was a whole lot of help.

"Chris, Wyatt one of you please come quick Hank needs you he's not breathing." Patty called out to her two oldest cousins. They would know what to do if no one else did.

Chris and Wyatt orbed in a moment later prepared to do battle with a demon. But the only demons that were present were the type they couldn't fight. Only Henry could vanquish his inner demons and he had to want to do it.

Wyatt put his fingers to his cousin's neck "He still has a pulse that's good. Chris help me get him on the floor. I need to get him breathing again. Then get the girls out of here they don't need to see their brother like this."

"It's a little late for that Wy I'm not leaving this room until I know that he is ok." Patty said stubbornly she had her arms wrapped around her older twin sister.

Chris and Wyatt laid him out on the floor and Wyatt began doing chest compressions to get him breathing again. "Come on Hen breath don't you dare give up on me. You'll be stuck with Grams and we all know you don't want that." He was trying hard to keep his tears at bay. Finally Henry coughed and started gasping for air. "Help me turn him on his side he is going to puke and I don't want him to choke." No sooner did they get him turned over than he emptied the content of his stomach on the floor.

Chris looked at Wyatt with a sad look in his eyes "We can't leave him here like this and the girls shouldn't have to worry about him."

"I'll tell you what you go put him to bed and stay with him tonight. I'll get this mess cleaned up and then I'll stay with the girls." Wyatt suggested.

"Ok I can do that." Chris said and he orbed them up to Henry's room.

Henry awoke the next morning with his head spinning he saw Chris sitting there in his desk chair with his eyes half closed "Hey Chris." He said his voice raspy.

"Don't you hey Chris me you stupid bastard you almost killed yourself last night. You're killing yourself every time you take a drink but if you want to do that to yourself that is fine. Just don't do it where you sisters have to be the ones to find you. I love Hank and I hope you get over this really soon but I'm so pissed at you right now that I can't stand to look at you." Chris said with tears shining in his green eyes he orbed away before Henry had a chance to reply.

* * *

Henry vowed right then and there that he was going to quit. He kept that promise until he got the shakes so bad that he couldn't stand it and he had to take a drink. His real rock bottom came one night when he was home alone with his sisters again. Well he was alone with Patty her and Ricky were sitting in the living room with him watching TV. Carly was out on a date and she was due back any minute.

At that point he wasn't even trying to hide his drinking anymore but he was going slow because he didn't want to scare the kids. "Hey guys where do you think Carly is it's getting kind of late?" he asked them he was worried sick about her.

"Hank she is on a date there is no telling when she will be back." Patty said trying to make him feel better.

"Actually I heard a car pull up a little while ago. It was her date's car I know because I remember the sound it made when he picked her up." Ricky supplied trying to be helpful.

Henry went and looked out the window sure enough Carly and this week's flame were out in the driveway doing some heavy duty groping. "You guys stay here I will be right back." He said slipping some shoes on before he walked out the door.

As he approached the car he could hear his sister yelling for the guy to stop over and over. That was all he needed to hear he pulled him out of the car and started beating the living shit out of him. He would have killed him if Ricky hadn't come out and stopped him.

"Hank no stop you're going to kill him." Ricky said grabbing his arm.

"You stay the fuck away from my sister or no one will be able to save you from me." Henry warned him and he was more than happy to get in his car and drive away. He went to Carly who had tears rolling down her face and scooped her up in his arms. When they were safely inside he orbed them up to his bedroom.

He sat on his bed and rocked her in his arms while kissing her on top of her head. "This is my fault I promise I will be better from now on. I'm your big brother it's my job to protect you not be a drunken slob. Had I been any drunker I wouldn't have thought to go check on you. It makes me sick to think what he could have done to you if I had been in my cups." He had tears rolling down his face now he felt like a failure as a big brother. He was supposed to take care of them. They weren't supposed to have to worry about him drinking himself to death it just wasn't fair.

"It's ok Hank you saved me and that is all that matters." Carly assured him if it was possible he was more upset than she was.

"No it's not ok Leigh I should have been out to check on you sooner." Henry protested he was stubborn when he wanted to be that is why it should be no problem for him to quit drinking.

"Henry I don't want you to be sorry. Do you want to know what I really want from you?" Carly asked him looking up at him with her big brown eyes.

Henry shook his head "No what do you want Leigh?" he asked not knowing what she could want from him. He knew that he wouldn't want anything from himself he was a failure as a husband and as a brother. He couldn't save the people he loved from being hurt.

"I want you to forgive yourself for what happened to O and I want you to quit drinking." Carly stated bluntly.

Henry sighed and hugged her to him tighter. "I'll do the very best I can but I'm not making any promises." He told her.

* * *

His resolve to stay away from the booze melted the next afternoon when he got the shakes. But he headed to the bar so Carly wouldn't know he was already failing to keep his word.

He sat down on his usual barstool and Mike came right up to him "Whiskey Hank?" he asked him knowing what he would say.

"As much as you can give me without it killing me. And take my keys now it is going to be one of those nights." Henry said handing his keys over right away.

"Ok I'll fix you right up." Mike said.

Before Henry got really good and drunk he turned to his left and saw a familiar brunette sitting next to him. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked testily.

"I came here to see you I understand that spend more time here than you do at home now." the woman said to him.

"Spare me the lecture B I'm having a rough day. That is why I'm here I can't drink at home without feeling like I'm letting someone down. I don't have that problem here, no here I'm just another drunken loser who can't handle his whiskey." Henry replied.

"No you handle your whiskey too well from what I understand." Bianca informed him coolly.

"Obviously not well enough it almost killed me." Henry shot back.

"I know that too. And I know that whatever answers that you are looking for you're not going to find them in a bottle." Bianca replied.

"B you can't just walk away for months and then come back and tell me how to live my life." Henry flared at her.

"Hank I love you and I don't want to see you kill yourself. I couldn't bear loosing someone else I love. But the difference you have a choice you don't have to die now you just have to put the shot glass down." Bianca lectured him.

Henry threw another shot down while looking her dead in the eyes "Like I said spare me the fucking lecture Bianca." He never called her by her given name.

"Forgive me for caring enough to want to save you fuckin stupid ass Henry." She flare back at him she never called him by his given name either.

Henry held his empty shot glass up "Give me another round down here Mike." He called out.

Mike came down carrying five shots of whiskey that he sat in front of Henry. "What about you sweetheart you want a drink? It'll be on the house." He asked Bianca.

"No I'm fine just give me a coke." Bianca replied she had to stay sober enough to talk some sense into him.

"Ok whatever you want." Mike replied and he came back a moment later with her soda.

Neither one of them said another word to the other after that. Henry couldn't drink in peace though knowing that she was sitting there staring at him. So he figured he might as well make conversation with her. "Hey B?" he asked after he downed another shot.

"Yeah Hank." She answered him turning to face him.

"When did life go and get so hard?" He asked one moment he had just been a boy in love with a girl and in the next his whole world had gone to hell. The funny thing about it was he was in love with the girl sitting on the stool next to his not the one he was drinking over.

"Truthfully Hank I don't know but I guess it started getting that way about the time we lost her." Bianca replied.

"Oh ok. I just remember when there was a time when I didn't think I would have a hard time doing anything." Henry said stumbling over his words and not because of the alcohol.

"How do you mean Hank?" Bianca asked but she hoped she knew what he was getting at.

"I want to quit I have tried so many times to quit. But then the shakes start and I start seeing her face and I just can't do it." Henry explained himself.

"Hank it'll be the hardest thing that you have ever done in your life but I know you can do it." Bianca assured him.

"I don't think I can not without help anyway." Henry replied staring deeply into her eyes.

"Hank what do you want from me? Because unless you say the words I don't think you know what you want." Bianca informed him she wasn't trying to be hard on him she just wanted him to get better.

"I want to quit B." He said his voice almost pleading with her.

"I know you want that say the words to me. Unless you do it won't make it real for you." Bianca said she was close to tears she loved him so much and her heart was breaking for him.

Henry took a deep breath and put his shot glass down "B I want to quit but I need your help." There he had said the words and boy did it feel good.

Bianca kissed him on the cheek and smiled at him "We have been waiting for you to say that for a long time. Come on lets get you out of here." she put her hand up in the air to get Mike's attention "Hey Mike I need his keys." She called out to him and came down to give them to her.

Bianca wrapped her arm around his waist and led him out to the truck. Henry had no idea what kind of hell he had just signed himself up for. It wasn't going to be easy at all but he was a Halliwell he could beat anything and Bianca wasn't about to give up on him.

She drove them to her apartment and she helped him sit on the couch. "B what are we doing at your place?" he asked her confused.

"You're going to stay with me for a little while just until you get better. It's ok Aunt Paige knows. I'm just going to go fix up the spare bedroom for you." Bianca said giving him a big grin.

"But how? Tyler and Maria live here." He was really confused now he didn't know what the hell was going on.

"No sweetie they moved out because Maria is pregnant I know that Chris told you that." Bianca replied before going in to fix the bed for him. She came back out and then she helped him into bed. "Good night Hank if you need anything I'll be right down the hall." She kissed him on the head.

"Good night B thanks for bringing me home." He said before drifting off into a drunken sleep.

* * *

He did alright without having a drink until the next afternoon and then that is when the real hell started. First he got the shakes and the longer he went without a drink the worse they got until his whole body was shaking.

"B please I will do anything if you give me a drink." Henry pleaded with Bianca when the shakes got really bad.

Bianca shook her head sadly at him she knew she had her work cut out for her. " Hank I know that it may seem like it now but this is for you own good I never want you to go through this again. So I want you to remember what it feels like."

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette._

Sometime during the night Henry felt a pain shot through his body like no pain he had ever felt before. Considering it was the first thing he had really felt it months it was pure hell to him. He couldn't help from screaming out every now and then. His whole body shook like a leaf and he went from freezing to burning up. And what was worse what little bit he had managed to eat in the last few days kept coming up. But there was a trashcan right beside his bed and he spent most of the night with his head in it.

Bianca came in more than a few times to check on him and make sure he was doing alright. It was killing her to see him like that but she knew that he had to go through it in order to get better.

"B I want you to promise me that no matter how hard I beg or what I say you won't give me anything to drink." Henry pleaded with her he knew that he couldn't go through this again.

"Henry there is nothing that you could do or say to make me give you a drink. I have Chris and Wy on standby in case I need them to come sit on you literally. I'm one tough cookie I know it hurts but I'll help you as much as I can. Now try and get some sleep." Bianca said kissing him on the head.

_She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget_

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time._

Henry drifted in and out of consciousness he didn't know how it was possible to get any sleep between the shakes and the screaming. But he managed it for short periods of time. Not that he really had a concept of time the minutes and the hours seemed to blur together. He didn't know what kind of pain women went through when they had babies. But he imagined that there was no way it was any worse than the pain of withdrawal.

He went from being hot to freezing. That was when he wasn't throwing up he didn't know how he was throwing anything up at all considering how little he had ate. At one point his shirt became sweat soaked and Bianca came in and pulled it off of him. That was until he started freezing and she put a clean t-shirt on him.

Hell at one point when he had missed the trashcan and thrown up all over himself she put him in the shower and gave him a bath. That was no small feat considering how much bigger he was than her. It didn't even occur to him to be embarrassed that she was seeing him naked. He was in too much pain to care about anything at the time. Sure he had wanted to feel something but for his first feelings this was pretty intense it was almost too much for him to bear.

He broke down and asked her again to give him a drink. "B either kill me or give me a drink just put me out of my misery I can't take this anymore." He yelled out.

"Hank I won't do either I promised you that I wouldn't give you a drink and I promised you that I would help you beat this." Bianca replied calmly.

"Fine just let me fuckin die then." Henry screamed at her even though he didn't mean it. Actually he didn't have time to think about that because he was throwing up again.

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind_

_Until the night._

The days started to blur together for him all he knew was that every once in a while Bianca would come in and try to feed him something. It was always something simple like soup or she would give him Gatorade to make sure he stayed hydrated. No matter what it was he always threw it up until he was doing nothing more than dry heaving into the trashcan.

When the hallucinations started he didn't even know that much anymore. He started seeing things and screaming out more and more. He preferred that to when he started seeing Oriana laying there on the cold ground dying. Then he cried like he hadn't cried in months.

Bianca came into the room once and found him backed up against the wall. He was had a cover wrapped around him but the sheets on the bed were soaked through with his sweat.

"Hank sweetie what's wrong?" She asked him tenderly.

"It's O I can see her there but I can't do anything to help her. Please B give me a drink I don't want to see her anymore. I don't want to be reminded of what a failure I am." Henry pleaded with her. That was the only time he had been able to say her name in months and he was seeing things.

"Hank you know that I won't do that so stop asking me. Now come on I'm going to put you in my bed while I change your sheets." Bianca said taking his hand and leading him to her bedroom. She got him settled down in her bed. "Ok sweetie I'll be right back I'm going to go change your sheets."

"B please don't leave me alone I can't watch her die again." Henry begged her.

"Ok I won't go just yet that is fine I'll sing to you." Bianca said. She got in bed next to him and wrapped her arms around him and she sang to him until he fell asleep.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away her memory._

If Bianca ever got upset with him or lost her temper with him she didn't show it. She never showed him anything but love and compassion. She hated to see him suffering so much but there was nothing she could do about that.

During one of his hallucinations Henry was sure that Chris had been there to see him. But Bianca sent him away.

"Come on B I just want to see him and make sure he is doing alright." Chris had pleaded with her.

"No Chris is going to have a hard enough time facing me when all this is over. He is going to be a really broken little boy. I don't want him to look at you and see the things that he did. Now get out of here I promise you he is fine you can see him when he is better." Bianca said shooing him away.

Henry was also convinced that his parents and his aunts and uncles had been to see him. But he wasn't sure he didn't know what was real and what was a figment of his mind anymore. All he knew was when this was over he wasn't going to drink that much ever again. He knew that he would keep that promise this time too because he couldn't go through that much pain ever again.

Slowly he started to get better first he began keeping food down for longer periods of time without throwing it all back up. And then he stopped throwing up all together. He stopped shaking little by little until he could have shaved himself with a rusty straight razor and not cut himself.

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees_

_We found him with his face down in the pillow_

_With a note that said I'll love her till I die_

_And when we buried him beneath the willow_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullaby._

_

* * *

_

Finally it got to the point where he wasn't in pain any more and he had never been so glad for something to happen in his entire life. He slept almost twenty-four hours the day that it happened. The next morning he woke up to see Bianca sitting in the chair next to his bed staring down at him.

"Hey B." Henry said simply managing to give her a smile.

"Good morning handsome. I'm glad to see that you're feeling better." Bianca replied cheerfully.

"So I guess I got pretty bad didn't I?" He asked not really wanting to know all the things that he had said and done.

"Yeah but I don't want you to worry about that you were sick. You're better now so you can just forget about all of that." Bianca said.

"B how long was I like that?" Henry asked time had just melted together for him he didn't even know what day it was.

"For a week. And I will tell you at one point you didn't know who I was. Now that is all I'm ever going to tell you so don't ask me again you don't need to know those things." Bianca replied with a touch of finality in her voice.

"What about school?" he asked worried.

"Calm down don't worry. Chris was good enough to make himself look like you and he went to school for you." Bianca calmed him down.

"B I don't know how to ever thank you for everything." Henry replied.

"Hank you don't have to thank me you saved my life that night I was just returning the favor." Bianca said getting a little choked up.

"B I love you more than I loved you before this all happened if that is possible. You have been so good to me." Henry said fighting back tears. He was feeling like a normal person again that much was good.

"Quit your blubbering like a little girl Halliwell. You need to get up because after breakfast you and I have something that we need to go do." Bianca informed him.

Henry ate the eggs she made him like he hadn't eaten in ten years. Well he really hadn't kept nothing much down in a week.

After breakfast Bianca drove them out to the cemetery and led him out to her sister's grave. "There she is Hank tell her how you feel say to her what you can't say to anyone else."

Henry kneeled down and rubbed his hand over the polished rock he had spent many a drunken night out here. "I don't know how you could do this to me. I loved you and now I don't know how to live without you. For a while there I think I was trying to join you. you didn't think what the rest of us would have to go through if you died." He said his voice breaking at the end he didn't want to cry not now he just wanted to live again.

"It's ok Hank cry if you need to." Bianca said kneeling down beside him.

Henry buried his head in her chest and cried his heart out "B I don't know what to do it just hurts so bad. But I don't want to be sad anymore I just want to live again. I just don't know how." He wailed.

"Hank you're going to have to learn to live again just like I had to." She replied kissing the top of his head tenderly.

After a while he dried up his tears and looked up at her with his big brown eyes "B I hope the things I did mean we can never give us a chance." He didn't know where that had come from but he needed to say it.

"Honestly Hank I can't even think about that right now ask me again later. I promise one day when we're both not so fucked up the time will be right. And nothing or no one will stop us from being together then. I promise you that." Bianca swore to him. And then she kissed him on the mouth. They both acted like it didn't mean anything but it meant more than either of them knew at the time.

Henry nodded and then he asked "Can we go get something to eat because I'm starving?"

"Yeah sure come on cowboy I'll even pay." Bianca said. Henry ate that night more than he had ate in the last six months.

When they were in the car on the way back to her apartment her apartment he turned to her "B I have just one more stop I want to make before we go back to your place."

"Ok just tell me where and I'll take you." Bianca replied.

Henry strolled into the bar and took his spot on his usual stool as he waited for Mike to come down to him.

"Hey Hank do you want the usual?" Mike greeted him cheerfully.

"No Mike I just came in to thank you for listening to me when I needed someone to talk to. And I came to tell you that if I come in here and beg for a drink don't give it to me send me home. I can't live like that anymore." Henry said speaking from his heart.

"Don't worry about it stuff like that is in my job description. I'll miss you around here but I'm glad you got yourself straight. Let me offer you one last piece of advice if you really love that girl that came in here after you as much as I think you do you won't let her go." Mike said.

* * *

The next morning Bianca woke Henry up by shoving him out of bed roughly. "Come on get dressed we have places to be."

When they pulled up out in front of the manor Henry felt his stomach twist up in knots. "B I don't think I can go in there."

"Yes you can they're your family and they love you we all do we just wanted you to get better. Now come on I'll hold your hand the whole time if you need me to." Bianca promised him.

"Ok." He mumbled.

The first person to greet him when he walked through the door was Chris. He wrapped him up in a big bear hug. "Hey big guy I'm so glad that you're doing ok. I've been a little lost without my brother from another mother. I don't have any fun without you. I love you so very much."

"I love you too Chris and I'm sorry that I was so messed up." Henry replied.

The next thing he knew his two little sisters were throwing themselves in his arms. "Hey Charlie, hey Leigh I love you guys so much. I'm sorry for everything I put you through." He gushed to them.

"We love you too Hank." They answered in unison.

Henry looked up and came face to face with his mom. "Hi mom." He said giving her a lopsided grin despite what Bianca had said to Chris he wasn't broken not anymore anyway she had put him back together. He was acting just like he used to.

Paige looked at her son and she felt tears well up in her eyes when she saw that his deep brown eyes were clear and bright for the first time in months. "Hi baby I love you so much."

"I love you too mom but you're going to have to let me go I can't breath." Hank managed to get out.

Paige released him and then she pulled Bianca into a hug "Thank you so much for helping him B."

"Aunt Paige I love him and I owed you. You helped me pick up the pieces when I was broken." Bianca replied.

Henry stood there looking confused "B what are you talking about?" he asked.

"Hank I had a problem too you're not the only one who was messed up. Some of the things that I said to you are the same things Aunt Paige said to me. Minus the part where I told you I would have Chris and Wyatt sit on your ass." Bianca informed him.

In that moment Henry realized something. Dying that was the easy part. The hard part fell on the people of left behind because they had to learn to live again.


End file.
